Many moons ago, before I developed this aversion, I bought some L'Oreal Double Extend Mascara. This is actually what started my problem. Because this stuff, while a good idea in theory, will make you look batshit crazy. You'll have "eyelashes" jutting out every which way. Its clumpy and spidery and is not a good look on anyone. Avoid. Also, L'Oreal, like many drugstore brands, is not cruelty free, so there's that.
So ever since my horrible experience with that, I have avoided any eye product that requires sticking something to my existing eyelashes. This does not include wearing falsies, which I love, but that is a post for another day.
Anyway, I was recently gifted as selection of Tarte products, which is a brand I typically love, but don't buy very often for myself, because its a little bit on the pricier side. There were some products that I was (and after trying, continue to be) really excited about like the Amazonian Clay 12 Hour Blush- I am wearing the shade seduce in these pictures- and the Eye Architect which is also really fun, and would be even better if I could keep the spring loaded cap from popping off, but the product I want to tell you about today is the Tarte Best In Faux Mascara, which, despite its adorable name, is not awesome, and should not be let near human eyes.
When I first opened it, I wasn't even sure what it was exactly. The packaging said mascara, but I have never seen a wand like this one before. I couldn't get a decent picture, but through the miracle of internet stock photos, I can tell you that it looks like this:
Its...fuzzy. My oldest child opined that it looks like a sweater, and he isn't wrong. It looks like a used lint roller. I really had no idea what to do with it. Thanks, once again to the power of the internet, I was able to find some instructional videos to show me how to properly rub this caterpillar on my eyelashes.
The readers digest version is that the Best In Faux comes with another Tarte mascara, called Lights Camera Lashes, which is the flagship mascara of their brand. Its their staple, their timeless classic, it is the Chanel suit of Tarte mascaras. So, you put on a good thick coat of the LCL, then you brush these fibers over said lashes, and then another coat of the LCL to seal. Got that?
Also, one helpful blogger pointed out that you should not apply the Best In Faux starting at the bottom of your lashes like you would with other mascaras, you should start at least half way up, or just at the tips, to avoid these little fuzzy things falling into your eyes.
It seems simple enough, and it looks pretty good in the videos. Thats how these prestige brands suck you in. It seems like a good idea, simple enough, easy to do, and any mascara that costs more than $20 is bound to not be crappy, right? You would think, but no.
Being that I have a Masters degree, you'd think I could figure out how to properly apply mascara. And I did apply it just as I had been instructed. A good coat of LCL. The verdict on that for me is that I do feel like it added length, and it was good at separating, but it wasn't as dark as I would like, and I am not sure I feel like it did much for volume or thickness.
And then, per instructions, I applied these Best In Faux fibers. My middle child has recently become obsessed with the movie "Home Alone." He runs around the house putting his face in his hands and screaming.
If I didn't want to wake my kids, I would have run around the house screaming, " MY EYES! MY EYES!!" because cheese and rice, every single one of those fuzzy fibers felt like they were dropping right onto my eyeballs.
I hurried and applied the second coat of LCL, hoping that the stickiness of the mascara would help my pitiful situation. Spoiler alert: it didn't. I thought about taking it all off and starting over, but putting on makeup takes me a good 30 minutes, and I had to go to work and didn't have that kind of time. So, I decided to just suffer through. After about five minutes, the pain did subside and I wanted to stab out my own eyeballs much less.
I will say, because fair is fair, that I did like what it did to my lashes. I didn't have an eyelash curler on hand, so mine were pretty much sticking straight out, but I did feel like it really added to them. I tried to get some good, up close photos, and then I filtered the crap out of them so you could see my eyelashes better. Behold:
So, imagine those, but curled. Not bad, right?
Except the damn fibers fell into my eyes all. day. long. I don't mind suffering for makeup, but there are limits, and we reached them today.
Not amused. My supervillian eyebrow is just starting to raise, but we see where this is headed.
In short, this one is a no. Its now 8:54pm, and I have been wearing this jazz for about 13 hours now. I thought about taking it off as soon as I got home, but I had to make dinner and raise children and then write about it on the internet. Plus, this chair is comfortable, and my makeup remover is in the far away bathroom. Its quiet now, and my kids are asleep. Walking is hard. I still want to though, because even as I type this, I have fibers in my eye. Which I guess, if you are the silver lining type, means some of them have hung in there for 12+ hours, which is impressive for any makeup. So take that for what you will.
Do not take this mascara though. Leave it. Run from it. Your eyes deserve better. You can buy a lot of awesome mascaras, for way less money, and not want to, as the saying goes, shoot your eye out. Tarte is known for their palettes, and a lot of times, I feel like, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
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